I want you to Stop Trying!
What’s wrong with trying?
What does trying mean? If you put trying on the A line of a model, what you get is a certain result of nothing. Trying something is not the same as doing something. This difference seems insignificant, but it is not.
What is the difference? Think about how those words feel. Remember that feelings drive action, so “try on” how these two sentences drive action. “I will try to do that” vs. “I will do that.’” Think about how each of those sentences drive a different level of action.
Think about Yodas phrase: Do or do not, there is no try.
I want you to think of this when you are focusing on the decision to create more time for yourself. We are working on generating more time in our sports this month in my online weekly group for athletes.
In my gym, my little 3-6 year olds get 2 options only. They can do or they can watch. They get the privledge of doing gymnastics, or watching gymnastics. Period. It’s simple.
This may or may not work for you. But if you feel hesitation before you even approach an event, then maybe you want to try Yoda’s way of doing things. Stop trying and do it…or don’t.
If you are afraid of safety issues, then consider the belief that going half way might not be a safest choice. What is safe is doing or not doing. Those are the safest choices and the most likely to give you success. Either lower brain success that you didn’t do it, so you feel physically safe, but emotionally disappointed.
Or, you went for it and you feel long-term benefits of pushing through fear with courage (doesn’t feel good either) but you took massive action and learned a new skill that required effort– which is always the biggest reward in any sport!
If choosing not to go for a skill is where you are mentally, that’s totally fine. If you know you are not going for a skill or not going all out and attacking the position, then, despite the reaction from a coach, you may want to tell the coach, “hey, I’m not quite there. I am choosing to do something that will get me there- either more drills, more strength,…always more mental training!”
It is the safest option. If you sat out and went to do something else, then either you will gain the belief that you are capable of doing it eventually, or you won’t do it. But, trying to go for something over and over and not really going for it is like not doing the skill– you don’t know what the skill really feels like. You just know what holding back feels like.
So, in your journal this week, write “do or do not, there is no try.” Is this true?
Depends on how you want to see it. The emotion of not going for it might be a relief and disappointing. The emotion of going halfway, trying it, might just be prolonged mental debate if it is worth it– so more indecision or confusion or concern and doubt.
The result of going for it might be any number of possibilities, but you won’t look back and wonder what would have happened if you went all out for yourself. Past wishing and wondering is not useful and doesn’t ever serve you and doesn’t ever feel good. So, choose one that will get you closer to your goal. Skip the try and decide– yes or no. Done. Move on– to doing it or doing something productive.
Be open and honest. Will you lose your spot on a team? Maybe. But won’t you lose your spot eventually if you are worried you might mess up and so you only go ½ way. You could lose your spot by telling the coach, you are not ready, or by showing the coach you are not ready. They are both uncomfortable. One is showing up 100% for you and taking control of what you are ready to do– don’t let the passing of time predict your capabilities.
NOW, here’s the last bit on that… I believe you are always ready for anything that comes your way.
You get to decide if you believe me… what if you did believe me. How would that feel to believe you are always ready for anything that comes your way?!
Have a flippin awesome week.
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While coaches prepare an athlete physically, I prepare them mentally. So, when a coach says to an athlete, “You are ready”, then the athletes believes 100% they are ready as well. If an athlete says, “I can do this” without truly believing she/he can, then she/he is essentially trying to slam a revolving door. Failure is guaranteed. Instead of a question mark at then end of the phrase “I can do this”, I teach athletes how to add the exclamation point! My joy is to help every athlete find potential. We take a closer look at the belief systems of athletes and how those thoughts are holding them back and creating their current results. I believe that every athlete deserves to feel passionate about what they truly want. Need help becoming the super-athlete in your sport? Go to FlippinAwesomeCoaching.com to learn more about my online weekly program for athletes.